


Just for Tonight

by fanfic814



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drug Use, Future Castiel, Future Dean Winchester, M/M, One Shot, bad trip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 18:40:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6295435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfic814/pseuds/fanfic814
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When (Endverse) Cas gets a batch of tainted weed, Dean lets his guard down to coax him through a bad trip</p><p>Anonymous prompt from the Supernatural Kink Meme community, March '16 (which was inspired by Misha's Burning Man story).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just for Tonight

Dean Winchester was fucking exhausted.

He had just returned back to base camp with his hunting party, another successful mission under his belt.  He was covered in dirt and blood, the remnants of yet another hunt a constant reminder on his clothing. 

Someone tossed him a beer in celebration, and he cracked it open, giving a half-hearted smile before slamming it back.  Though he acted confident and defiant, the truth was, he was _tired._ He was tired of killing these goddamn Croats, tired of losing his crew to the virus, tired of trying to find enough food for survival.  Dean was a natural-born leader, but dealing with all of this had left him incredibly jaded and bitter.

All he wanted to do tonight was wash up, burn these clothes, and sleep until morning, but he felt obligated to stay there with his crew and celebrate.  Thankfully, the party didnt last long. It seemed that most of the crew was just as exhausted, and Dean had never been happier than when they slowly began to disperse to their own sleeping huts.  He finished his beer in one long gulp and headed toward his cabin, intent on hiding out for the rest of the night.    
  
"Dean!"  A panicked voice called out to him, and he couldn't help but groan.  He could never catch a freakin' break.  Cas was running toward him, screaming frantically.   Grabbing the gun from his hip, Dean hurried toward him,  certain that a diseased Croatoan had somehow breached their security.

As he drew closer, Cas immediately hid his face in his hands.  "Dean!" he yelled.  "I'm so sorry you have to see me like this!  But you have to help! Something' s wrong! "

Dean frowned.  "What happened?"

"Can't you see it?" Cas yelled.  "My face!  It melted off!  I felt really hot and went to splash cold water on my face and it just melted off!  What do I do?"

"Oh fuck," Dean grumbled.  Goddammit, he didn't have the patience for this.  Cas was constantly high these days and frankly, it could really be tiresome.  "Your face is fine.  Go sleep it off, Cas."

"I can't go back there, Dean!  There's a bear in my bathroom and it tried to attack me!"  He paused and recoiled.  "Oh god, your face is melting too!   Dean, what do we do?"  Cas suddenly sat down on the ground and burst into tears.

Dean threw his head back in annoyance and sighed deeply.  "Get up, Cas."  He reached down and gripped his wrist, helping to pull him to his feet.  "Come on.  I'm gonna get you back to your bed," he said, slipping an arm around Cas's shoulder and guiding him toward his hut.

"But what about the bear?" Cas sniffled.

"Cas, there is no bear in your damn bathroom.  I promise," Dean said firmly.  "What the hell did you take, anyway?" he asked as he shoved through Cas's door and steered him to the bed.

"I didn't take anything," Cas said confusedly.  "What's missing?"  He lay down on the bed and scrunched his eyes closed, trying to make the shifting colors go away.

Dean sighed.  "No!  Fuck!  The drugs, Cas.  What the hell did you take?"

"Just weed," Cas said.  "You know that's all I do.  Why?"

"Because you're trippin' balls," Dean grumbled.  "Where did you get it?"

Cas looked up at him curiously.  "One of the girls.  I don't know where she got it.  But my dealer wasn't available, so she offered to get me some. It burned. Felt funny."

Dean nodded silently.  "Well whatever it was, it wasn't just weed."  He frowned again as Cas began squinting at him like he was struggling to figure something out.

"Your nose just got really big, then went small again.  And there was another person behind you that just disappeared."  He paused to rub at his temples.  "What's happening?" he yelled.

"I told you.  You're tripping, Cas.  Try to relax."

Cas suddenly sat up in terror.  "You're not leaving, are you?  Don't leave me, Dean!  Oh god, you don't hate me, do you?  I'm sorry, Dean!  I didn't mean for this to happen!  Please don't leave me!"  Once again, the tears started falling and Cas wiped them away with the back of his hand.  He began rocking himself back and forth anxiously.

"Cas.   Cas!" Dean interrupted.  "Calm down.  I don't hate you.  And I'm not going anywhere." He sat down on the bed and put a hand on Cas's shoulder.  "Just... I don't know, take a deep breath or something. I'm gonna stay, but I need to wash up. Do you have something I can wear? I don't wanna get Croat blood all over you."

Dean really didn't want to spend the night babysitting Cas through a bad trip.  Of course he was worried about him, but he was also kind of bitter about the whole situation.  He hated how far Cas had fallen, and every time he started to think too much about it, the guilt started to eat him alive.  This was all his fault.  If he had just said 'yes' to Michael all those years ago, maybe none of this would have ever happened.

Dean rifled through Cas's dresser until he found a faded t-shirt and a pair of soft jersey shorts. "Can you stay right here for me? I'll be five, ten minutes."

Cas nodded valiantly. Dean hurried to the bathroom. He stripped off his clothing and filled the sink basin with water and began cleaning up as best he could. He hadn't been gone two minutes when he heard a loud crash, and he went flying back into the bedroom, clothing be damned.

Cas was standing near the dresser, which had been flipped onto its side, it's contents spilling out onto the floor.

"What the hell? " Dean asked. "Cas, why did you flip the dresser? "

Wide-eyed and breathless, Cas whispered, "The bear."

Dean was already frustrated, and not getting five minutes to himself to wash up was the last straw. "There's no fucking bear, Cas! Jesus. Lie down!"

Cas sat on the edge of the bed, tears springing to his eyes again. He began rocking again, like a small child might do to soothe himself. Dean retreated to the bathroom and cleaned up quickly, leaving the door open this time so as not to let Cas out of his sight.

By the time he changed and returned, Cas was already inconsolable, crying harder now as he rocked.  "Dean, am I going to be tripping forever?"

Dean fought back a little smile at the childlike innocence of his question.  "No.  You're not going to be tripping forever.  Look, I'm going to get you through this, okay?"   Yes, Dean decided, he could do this.  Cas was his responsibility, and he'd protect him to the death because Cas was his friend.  At the very least, he owed it to him. And to be honest, he was starting to worry.  

"What about the spiders?" Cas asked through his tears. "So many spiders.  Can you get them to go away?"

"Yeah," Dean said.  He still wasn't quite sure what to do, but he suddenly had an idea.  "As a matter of fact," he said as he stood up and grabbed a spare blanket from the closet, "This is a magic blanket.  It repels all the creepy bad things,"  He took the blanket and wrapped it around Cas's shoulders, putting his arms around him at the same time.  He slid in close and began gently rocking him.  "Are they going away?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes. Thank you, Dean. "

Dean nodded and slid back on the bed, propping himself against the headboard.  "You're welcome.  Come on," he said, shoving a few pillows next to him.  "It's gonna be a long night," he sighed.  "Might as well get comfy."  Cas crawled up next to him and Dean readjusted his blanket, putting an arm around his shoulder.

"Dean, can you make the room stop moving?" he whimpered.  "Are we in a Van Gogh painting?"

"No, Cas.  We're not.  It's just the drugs.  None of this is real except me, okay?  I'm real, and I've got you."  Cas slumped into his shoulder and Dean rhythmically began running his fingers through his hair the way his mom used to do when he was scared.

Just sitting there holding Cas felt strange and foreign to Dean. He and Cas just weren't close like they used to be; these days they were simply brothers-in-arms... or at least they were when Cas wasn't stoned off his ass.  Which was often.  But it wasn't _just_ that.  It had been way too long since he'd touched anyone for comfort.  One-night stands, sure, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd been held, or even hugged.  He missed the nights where he and Sam would fall asleep in the front seat of the Impala, and he'd wake up leaning into his brother's shoulder.  That was always his safe place.

Sam.  There was another thing he couldn't think about.  He closed his eyes and leaned into Cas, enjoying his warmth and taking in the little bit of unexpected comfort that came with it.

For a while, all was quiet.  Cas closed his eyes and let Dean's touch be his lifeline.  Dean was fighting sleep, a full day of hunting weighing heavy on his mind and body, and he nodded off a few times, as Cas whimpered and gripped him tighter.

He hadn't been asleep long when he was rudely awakened.  Cas suddenly vaulted out of bed, tearing the blanket off of them both, and leaving Dean cold and dazed.

"Cas, what the hell?"  He squinted and rubbed his eyes as he stared at Cas, who was now jumping and swatting at himself.

"The spiders!  They're back!" Cas screamed.  "The blanket isn't working!.  They're all over my clothes!"

Dean sighed and climbed out of bed, gripping him firmly by the shoulders.  "Cas.  Look at me," he demanded.  "There are no spiders.  You're hallucinating.  Come back to bed.  This will all be over soon."

"No!  Dean!" Cas yelled, shoving his arms away.  "I need to get them off!  They're going to bite me!  The teeth!  They're huge!"

"Cas..."

Cas was tugging at his shirt desperately, half the buttons popping off as he yanked it open.

"Cas, calm down!  There are no spiders!"

Cas tore his pants off and kicked them across the room, then reached for his boxer shorts.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Dean said, grabbing his wrist.  "That's good enough, Cas.  Look, I'll fix the blanket and..."

"You can fix it?"

"Yeah.  I can fix it.  Just come lie down."

Cas was panting in terror.  "No!  I have to take these off!  They could bite my penis off!"

Dean picked up the blanket and lunged at him, wrapping it around his back and shoulders while crushing him in a firm bear hug.  "It's fixed, Cas!  It's fixed!" he yelled as Cas thrashed against him.  "The spiders are gone."

Slowly, Cas calmed and allowed Dean to lead him back to bed. "Thank you," he panted, crawling back into bed and clinging to him for dear life.

Dean looked at his watch and sighed.  It had only been about an hour and a half since he'd arrived here. The worst of it should be over soon at least. He ran his fingers through Cas's hair again, doing the only thing that seemed to ground him.

"Thank you for staying, " Cas sniffled softly.

"Don't worry about it, Cas," Dean said absently. He was lost in his own little world for a minute, thinking again about what should have been.  Cas huffed contentedly against his neck and the warmth of it made him shiver.  He wondered how different things would have been if he had admitted his feelings for Cas years ago, wondered if Cas would have gone down this same road.

But it was too late for all of that. He was slowly realizing that his entire life was one big regret lately.

Dean slipped a leg around Cas and slid in behind him, coaxing him to lean back into his chest.  He wrapped an arm around him and Cas let his head fall back onto his shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut as the world around him melted and reformed, colors shifted, and creatures appeared out of the woodwork.   Dean's fingers fell into a gentle rhythm, stroking Cas's hair while doing everything in his power to keep himself awake.

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad... Take a sad song and make it better...  Remember to let her into your heart... Then you can start to make it better..."

"That's nice," Cas murmured.

"Hmm?  Oh," Dean jumped from his daze, feeling a bit embarrassed.  "Mom used to sing it to me when I was little. Didn't even realize I singing out loud, actually."

"Don't stop.  Please?"

A bit self-conscious now, Dean began to sing again.   "Hey Jude, don't be afraid... you were made to... go out and get her..."  Cas sighed contentedly.   
  
Hours passed with Dean working his way through the Beatles and most of the Led Zeppelin songbook.  Cas seemed to be slowly coming down, and Dean's eyes were rapidly slipping closed.  Try as he might, he couldn't fight it any more, and he finally gave in to sleep.    
  
When he awoke a while later, he was on his back.  Cas was practically wrapped around him, and he was lightly snoring and drooling on Dean's shoulder.   For a while, Dean just lay there, letting himself pretend this was five years ago.  Cas wasn't a depressed stoner, the Croatoan virus didn't exist.  Sammy was still Sammy, and Baby wasn't rusting in pieces on the outskirts of camp.  For a moment, he was just waking up with an angel in a random motel room after a long night of hunting... and for just a moment, he allowed himself to feel happy.   
  
"Dean?"  Cas's voice suddenly shook him from his daydream, and he jerked.   
  
Cas struggled to sit up. "What the hell happened?" he asked weakly.  "What _was_ that?"  
  
Immediately, Dean snapped back to reality.  He bolted out of bed and cleared his throat.  "I don't know.  PCP, maybe? You have any of that shit left?"  
  
Cas shook his head 'no'.    
  
"Good.  So.  Are you okay now?"  
  
"I... I guess so."  
  
Dean nodded sternly.  "Alright then.  Get your shit together and meet at headquarters in two hours.  I have a mission planned and I need all hands on deck."  
  
"Yeah.  Sure," Cas said, squinting at him with a puzzled look on his face.  "Sorry if I was a little grabby... Dean, do we need to talk about thi...?"  
  
"Just be ready to go."  He turned around and hurriedly exited the cabin, leaving Cas alone and confused.  
  
"Yeah," Cas mumbled as he crashed back down on the bed.  "Thanks, Dean."


End file.
